I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Randomize
