you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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