STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize