When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
