come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
