Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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