TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
