You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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