We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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