Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
