We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
