Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
