Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
