girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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