oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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