who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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