I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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