Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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