check it out our google latitudes are spooning
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
