Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
