left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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