seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
