Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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