Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
