i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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