Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize