my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
