when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize