Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
