i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
