OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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