Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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