she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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