I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
