apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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