return my video game
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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