He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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