Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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