Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
