Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
