i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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