Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
