whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
ok first of all what the fuck
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
