so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
