Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
