They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I need water and some morals
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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