I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
