Whod you bang
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
