That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
