actually, I'm a sock model
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We had to coat check the pizza.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Randomize