We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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