Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Come see our sink grown plant.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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