Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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