My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
sex in a hospital.. check
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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