so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
