I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
