What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
