Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
