So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
