Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
