she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
my liver is dry heaving
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
