idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
