i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
