Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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