yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
