Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
