get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
