You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
